Saturday, December 27, 2008

an amazing year

How do I define time and happiness? Years seem to come and go, faster and faster as I realize my life here on earth winds down. I’m hoping for a lot more time, and I’m sure I will have some of that, but should I go tomorrow what will be of those I love. That is the grand question as far as I can tell. I’m sure we will all meet again on the other side, however that gap between this time and that time, what will become of my loved ones? I am so confident that they will be well and have their needs met, maybe not the way I would do it, but probably better. I can have peace about that and other things I am so unequipped to handle.
We are all teachers here, and we are students at the same time. I believe that is why we are here, for the learning and for the opportunity to teach. What makes this year any different than any other year? The lessons learned, and the opportunity to teach my family and friends what my love for them is. I have such a greater appreciation for family this year as we have had a difficult year. We have blended families that don’t agree with mom and pop a lot of the time, but have accepted our choices and felt our combined love. At the time I write, we have a house full of Kathy’s children and it feels right and good. For Christmas we saw all of our children but 2 and one will fly out to Utah on the 2nd for a week. We will see the other one, soon. We had more people than I could imagine at our home for Christmas dinner, along with two of our dearest friends. What made Christmas so special was seeing them all together. Even Baxter a new puppy which our dogs didn’t exactly invite, was welcomed. Yes gifts are nice, and things are intriguing, however the look of happiness in my wife’s eyes seeing her children gathered together in her home would have been all the present I could have asked for.
Last night Kathy and two of her daughters shared some time at the SPA and came home very much different than when they were sent.
Business has been very good; I have exceeded every goal by thousands of percentages. Mostly I have in my heart a Joy of being free, that I have never had. I am working harder, with longer hours. My wife and I work side by side and hand in hand long hours. All my friends and associates work for peanuts to see my business succeed. We are really all in this together. H3 has just delivered the first H3 detection units to the Army at fort Hunter Liggett. We trained scout teams that will deploy for the “middle east” next month. Finally we will save some lives. Finally!
So I sit in my basement reflecting on my year, and seeing the beauty of His plan, not mine come to fruition. I know I’m on a voyage encased in a frail vessel that won’t house my spirit forever. I have come to understand that I am only significant when I am doing something good for someone other than myself. I hope, I wish, and I dream of a peaceful world where we can all see the beauty of each person and what they can share with us, teach us and that we can become true friends. I know I am loved deeply, and that I love deeply, I have sorrow and I am inadequate to understand everything I need to understand. But I have faith in our future and am not afraid of the unknown. I have witnessed many good and decent people and have run into a few that were not. I have learned from both types.
I hope everyone feels the love around them, it is everywhere. It may not be in the form we each desire, but it is everywhere.